The Blog Goes Bleat

THIS is my first “bleat.” 

            I’ve chosen the word “bleat” instead of “blog,” because I think “blog” creates  a pressure to be profound that makes me uneasy, as in having to market yourself with comments like, “You should check out my last blog on global warming—really nailed it!” 

            Oh? In 300 words?

            I don’t think I could ever convincingly say, “You should check out my last bleat on global warming—really nailed it!” 

            “Bleat” is a perfect word for someone who may lack the self esteem to blog boldly, or is fearful that after about five blogs there might not be much left in the tank:  “My topic today is the fascinating story behind shoe inserts…” 

            And as a bleater, I possess some gravitas (had to get that word into my first bleat) about bleating because I grew up around sheep.

            Many people know something about sheep.  I know sheep.  I might say some of my closest friends have been sheep, but in addition to that being wacko-wacko, it’s questionable that an animal with so little mental gravitas could participate in a relationship. 

            To be sure we understand one another, a “bleat” is the annoying sound a sheep makes for no apparent reason, usually heard as “baa.”  Oh my goodness, if the woolly idiots would just stop with one “baa!”  But when you string about 40 baas together?  Take it from me—get about 75 adult sheep in a confined space, all bleating like air raid sirens, and you are on your way to a mental break.

            I’ll try not to bleat annoyingly.  Just one “baa.”  Maybe, two?

            In the next bleat I tell one of my favorite stories about sheep:  it’s full of rage, violence, and disturbing humor.

            If you have the gravitas for something so potent, check back soon.

 Coming:  “The Day We Wanted Them All to Die”

6 thoughts on “The Blog Goes Bleat”

  1. Hilarious, I can’t wait to hear what else you can do with”sheep”. Good for you, is there a point to this bleating anyway? 🙂

  2. What the bleat are you talking about?

    I’ve never gotten the whole blog anyway…I see visions of obese pontificators sitting in their shade-drawn rooms ruminating on soliloquies that will rarely see the light of intelligent day. “What do you do for a living?” “Oh, I blog.” What? Did you say your a blob? Or it sounds like something that Miracle Max might conjure up…”He distinctly said, ‘To blog’ and as we all know to blog is to bluff…” Or someone making a dash for the men’s room after too many adult beverages…”I feel like I have to blog.”

    Now, to bleat, on the other hand. That sounds light, fresh, and ever-so-slightly high-minded. I like it…please continue.

  3. This reminds me of those days as a child (in my early 20’s) when I found it amusing to make “baa”ing sounds in the middle of department stores–loudly and mechanically enough for befuddled masses of shoppers to become visibly annoyed by that “incessant barnyard ringtone”. I can’t wait to read more!!!

    1. Interesting description from one who held her little nose whenever the aroma of any animal dung was anywhere near! 🙂

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